First dates. I am so not a pro at them anymore; I’ve more or less been out of the dating scene for twelve plus years. Don’t get me wrong, in the past three years since my divorce, I’ve gone on dates, but I’m still a virtual noob when it comes to dating.
Let me tell you, things have changed dramatically.
Gone are the days of meeting people in your day-to-day adventures, now it seems we’re all destined to be matched up by someone else like wildlife heading onto Noah’s ark for survival. Most people, especially busy professionals, are all doing the online dating thing; or using a matchmaking service. I find that most dates now are all about speed and efficiency. Everyone tries to get to know as much as they can about your personality, character, values and morals as quick as they can so they can determine if you’re a go or no go. It seems like one big rush.
Welcome to the new dating world…
To be honest, I don’t like it. In my opinion, dating has become fast paced and complex like our everyday lives. I still remember the day I said I would never sign up for a dating service, my how I’m eating those words.
Anyways, happy day, on Friday I went out on a date! Yep, you guessed right, this was a date from a dating service.
We covered almost every topic possible, including finances. No, we didn’t get into specific numbers, just our ideologies when it comes to finances. It was partially because I told him I blogged in my spare time, which prompted the question “about what?”
Savers and Spenders
We both agreed that it has to be tough for a spender and a saver to have a relationship. He mentioned having a friend at work that hides things from her husband. She has them shipped to her work; she partially unpacks them, puts them in the trunk of her car and sneaks them in the house when she can. Then it becomes a game of denial with her hubby. I used to do that. I now realize it makes a mockery of your relationship when you’re not open with your other half about everything.
Budgets and Managing the Day-to-day
We talked briefly on this subject, just enough to figure out that I live on a budget and I have some debt that I am repaying. Car payments were a topic of discussion that became a bit of a debate. His belief, and his fathers, was that you’ll always have a car payment because cars are money pits, so why not always have a new car. I won’t disagree that cars are a money pit (they are) but I disagree that you will always have a car payment. Once you finish the five years it takes to pay for a car, yes, it may be a bit older and require more maintenance but not as much as a car payment. I said, once your car is paid off, that “payment” money you used to be paying out, could quite easily be saved for maintenance instead.
- Car payment + maintenance or
- Paid off car with money that would have gone to payment going to maintenance. I like #2 better.
Keeping a balanced portfolio
This was where we disagreed a bit, or it could be my normal nature of trying to do everything myself. He openly admitted that he could care less about the minute details of his portfolio; things like MER’s, what stocks a mutual fund is composed of and other messy little details. He preferred to have a firm take care of his investing and balancing of the portfolio. Personally, I like balancing and managing my portfolio myself. I enjoy learning new things and I admit I’m a perfectionist and part control freak. I figure it’s my money and I should know where it’s going, what’s working, and what’s not. I give him kudos for openly admitting he wanted no part of managing his portfolio and would prefer an expert do it. I posted about this last week, recognizing when to ask for help.
We talked for two and a half hours total but not all about finances. I personally believe that getting into extreme specifics about your finances on a first date are not a good idea, it’s best kept for a bit later on.